By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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