Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I would fuck him just for his dog
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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