i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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