The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
