started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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