My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I think my moral compass just broke
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize