apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
