Banned from zoo.
Again?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
