At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
