dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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