Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
