My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
