worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
