Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
