he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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