I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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