they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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