Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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