Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
