Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
