i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
