"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Watching her eat just hurts me
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
