As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
