Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
