this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
