Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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