Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
