Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
His nipple licking is glorious
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