Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
