Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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