Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize