So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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