He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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