in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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