so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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