I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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