What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
