Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
