week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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