just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I wear drunk well.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
