I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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