Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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