For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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