Screwed.edu
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
