Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
