i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
