You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
