i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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