At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
