this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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