Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
