I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
