My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
