i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i need some magic done to my vagina
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
