TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
