so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
