I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
