...so i touched it.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
