idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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