Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
