You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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