I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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