My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize