She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
